I am currently watching an interview of Christopher Hitchens from 1993 on YouTube and in order for it to download (or ‘stream’) in as short a time as possible I can’t visit any other sites, including this one. So I’m writing this in Word - testament to the sluggishness of our “broadband” connection. It’s been a while since this trip actually happened now, which is testament to the sluggishness of my diary writing...
We stayed at a huge, revolting hostel in Melbourne the night of our arrival. The owners, no doubt too busy rolling around joyfully in a big vault of money, had allowed it to become a wretched and filthy place. We were dealt with at reception by a guy who clearly modelled his look on Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons. He was nice, but sent us up to a 12-bed dorm which I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemies.
Stephen and I, after deliberating on where to put the car for an hour, had a night out in Melbourne. After a few drinks in different places around the city we ended up in the bar attached to the hostel and endeavoured to make the owners even richer than they were already.
The next day we drove into the Melbourne suburb of Northcote where Pip and Pip live. We played 9 holes with Mr Pip on the Northcote public course and then had a delicious roast kangaroo for dinner when Mrs Pip had returned from work. It was nice to see them both again. I realised quite quickly again what a pair of radical environmentalists they are though. The world’s next source of authoritarianism will come from climate change evangelicals if you ask me. It won’t be pretty either – Saloth Sar will probably be their guiding light.
So what is Melbourne like then? Well I was sure at the time that I preferred it to Sydney but now that I look back I’m not so sure. Maybe three nights is just not enough to make a judgement? Sydney is more spread out and prone to dreariness but has markedly more attractive scenery. Melbourne has a more tightly packed central area and more interesting streets and bars. It has more trains and trams and a more “European feel” (I’ve heard this repeatedly – it’s because it has narrow lanes here and there and smaller bars).
Flinders Street, Melbourne
Some church...soo European...
Apparently they're from Erskineville...
...but they have their very own lane in Melbourne
Not all of the trams are this quaint...
Central Melbourne
A grainy shot from the bridge over the Yarra
While we were in Victoria almost 200 people died in some of the most savage bush fires in the history of the state. Local radio stations raised money all day long and it was the topic of conversation with most of the people we spoke to, even in South Australia. On Friday, the day before we were due to fly back, the wind must have changed direction and the Melbourne skies turned murky from the smoke. The sun was so dim you could look at it directly. That evening the moon was orange.
Victoria burning
On Friday we played at a Nick Faldo-designed golf course in a town near Torquay. It was far too new a course to be considered great (not many trees yet) but the greens and bunkers were manicured and pretty dangerous. Once again I screwed up and lost a ball towards the end of the round and then went downhill badly.
(Short) Par 5 first
Our trip was over! All that was left was to go to Avalon airport, which is 50km outside of Melbourne. We had enough time to visit one last beach and one last golf course and, purely out of chance, Werribee was the location of both. I have since found this blog which would have stopped us from going anywhere near the place. As it turns out the golf course was alright, but the beach abysmal.
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